Thursday, July 24, 2008

Stop, Children, What's That Sound?

Daughter #2 has major sleep issues. There is rarely a night that she can sleep through. Please don't send suggestions. It's a you-have-to-know-her issue. She will outgrow this stage in time (a relative term).

So, it's one of those really bad nights when she cannot be settled back to sleep. She's up at 2 a.m., and I know she won't fall off again until 5! That's just how it goes on a really bad night. At least I know this so I'm mentally prepared, as much as one can be for 2 a.m. (I'm not a nursing mom anymore. The special post-midnight cognition hormones just aren't being produced.)

I sleep on the floor in her room and try to "sh" her to sleep. Her sound machine (minus Miami Gloria and all the conga drums) is playing "rain," which is the nicest monotony over "white noise." She kicks and thrashes. I tell her, "You're OK." She tries to sleep, then starts talking about Blue's Clues. As pleased as I am that she has choreographed her own special version of Blue and Steve's "Buddy Boogie," I don't want to hear about it at 2:37 a.m.

I try to sleep anyway. There is really nothing I can do to help her, but that doesn't mean I can say, "See ya later" either.

But, I must have dozed off. In what seems like the next minute (and perhaps it was), I awaken to the horribly loud sound of something tumbling. And, like the father in "The Night Before Christmas" poem, I sprang from my see what was the matter.

Out to the hall I go and into Daughter #1's room, because all I can imagine is that she has fallen out of the top of her bunk bed and hit every step down the ladder on her way to the bathroom. I dash into her room and find her in deep sleep--and not at the base of the ladder, either.

OK, then... a little out of breath and wondering. So, what could that have been?

I scan the upper hall and the door to each room. Thinking... Processing.... Not outside. Not a computer, Tide bottle, hubby.... Bathroom--uh...Oh!


The fish-shaped bath mat.

Usually, Fishy sticks up by his suction cups to the kids' shower wall. The air-conditioned coolness must have caused the de-suctioning, sending Fishy head first into the in-shower hand rail, off the opposite tub wall and finally, in an echoing crash--taking out the floor mat--to the tub floor.

"Fishy..." I murmur in a voice recalling Jerry Seinfeld mourning his life's woes with the mumble of a single word ("Newman...").

I return to Daughter #2's floor. Do you ever have the urge to put an inanimate object into time-out? ("But, Mom, the A.C. made me slip off the wall. It wasn't my fault.") Yeah, right. What's the use?

A few more minutes on the floor--my two knees throbbing in pain from the rug burns I received in the "sprang" and Daughter #2's now fully alive monologue--soon gave me to know I would sleep in her bed.

"But I heard her exclaim ere she tucked herself tight,
'Happy fish mess to all and to all a good night!'"

(With multiple apologies to Clement Moore)

Exactly 5 more months 'til Christmas Eve.....


Chatty Kelly said...

Awwww, I feel bad almost for laughing, yet I know your tongue-in-cheek version of this truly unfortunate tale (a fish tale no less) called for a little laugh. I guess you could laugh or cry, and laughing feels better.

We had a similar story to this, a huge crash, and hubby going through the house looking for the intruder...the shower caddy fell with all of its shampoos, soaps, et al. Loud when it falls 5'.

Hope you can catch a nap some time today...maybe during Blue's Clues.

Chatty Kelly said...

P.S. - I loved your title, made me break into a song. And your "sound machine" reference truly had me laughing out loud. "Come on shake your body baby to that conga."

My ADHD Me said...

I am SO with you. You and I may have different circumstances. And I know that my kids sleeping problems is 100% my fault.

When they were babies,
I should have let them cry
I should have let them cry
I should have let them cry...

But Alas,

I didn't let them cry
I didn't let them cry
I didn't let them cry.

Now, it's been 17 years since JM was born. Of COURSE he doesn't need or even want me in there but Alberquando sill has his nights.

As for the loud band, on the morning of 9-11, I was standing in the middle of the family room pretty much in shock and horror. I was mesmerized by the scenes on the t.v (as was most of the world)---(well, most of the world wasn't in MY family room, but you know what I mean)
Anyway...CRASH! the light fixture in the kitchen ceiling just fell. It shattered into a millions pieces. (maybe not quite a million, but close). As you can imagine, I was already very shaken up and upset BEFORE it fell, due, of course, to what I was watching on tv. When that light fell, I truly thought my house had been hit.

OK, just thought I'd let you know...I can relate.
Happy Day.
(P.S. I'm having a hard time lately ending my thoughts..ha..can't you tell?)

Truth4thejourney said...

I am so sorry that you aren't getting sleep over there! What a challenging point in life you are in.

I'm with Chatty kelly, though, we can either laugh or cry and we're glad you're choosing to laugh (that's so we can laugh, too.)

I hope you can get some rest over the weekend. Hopefully you do have the opportunity for napping.