Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A Matter With the Heart

I had my first EKG yesterday!

Don't panic. I was just in the doctor's office having a routine physical. (They could have brought me a frozen drink, that's how comfortable I was.)

I worked in a hospital setting for 9 years, but I forgot that, when you reach a certain age, EKGs become a regular part of your physicals. ("And you're ONLY 44!" said my doctor. I LOVE my primary!! "Won't have to worry about that colonoscopy for a few more years." Oh, gee, thanks for reminding me about that milestone.)

An EKG is short for electrocardiogram. (I guess ECG just didn't have the same ring, so they went with an abbreviation based on the German spelling. Some docs use ECG, but it's not as common.) Anyhow, an EKG shows the electrical activity of the heart, which allows doctors to find irregular heart rhythms and heart muscle problems. Patches are applied to the patient on various parts of the body with electrical leads that plug into the measuring machine that graphs the results.

So, I was comfy in the lounge position on the patient's table, chatting with the EKG tech about the challenges of stay-at-home momhood (which she acknowledged that she couldn't do, enjoying her job very much). She applied the leads. She ran the graph. She stared at the paper.

"I'm going to run this one more time," she said, adjusting the position of the patch that was right over the bottom left part of my heart.

She ran the graph again. She stared.

"I'm going to show this to the doctor to see if it's OK with her."

Oh, great! What does this mean? Believe it or not, I have learned not to worry in these situations until somebody actually says something. It's only taken me 44 years to get to this point.

"She says it's OK," says my tech, who then goes on to explain that the EKG machine is a little fluky. They have sent it out to be calibrated several times, and it works for awhile, but then it decides to act up, having a mind of its own. (I think it knew I was having my first EKG and decided to have a hissy fit right then and there!)

Good news is that my heart seems to be just fine....or is it?

* * *

The one lead closest to my heart didn't register the way it should have. If I wasn't going through a spiritual growing phase lately, I would say that it really was the machine's fault. My heart may be physically fine per my medical team, but I know that it's not completely working right these days.

Perhaps the machine really detected a "dead" space in my heart. The part that doesn't have the compassion to pray for someone who needs Divine intervention. The part that still has some "servant-do's" left in the jar. The part that may be a bit bloated of self-thought that needs a shock of humility. ("Paddles!!")

I'm glad that my heart is physically fine. This means God has given me heart life to start addressing those "dead" spaces.

"So now, in the sight of all Israel, the assembly of the LORD, and in the hearing of our God, observe and seek after all the commandments of the LORD your God so that you may possess the good land and bequeath it to your sons after you forever.

"As for you, my son Solomon, know the God of your father, and serve Him with a whole heart and a willing mind; for the LORD searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever.

"Consider now, for the LORD has chosen you to build a house for the sanctuary; be courageous and act."

--1 Chronicles 28:8-10 (NASB)


My ADHD Me said...

oh Sue, you do sound down. I know you're praying about it. God will answer your prayer. I'll pray that his will and your will are the same.

Glad the EKG problem was just a fluke. I hate when I'm at the doc office, the take a test and then say something like, hhmmmm, I'll be right back.

I'm 44 too, guess I'll be hooked up to the EKG machine again soon. I've had it done for a required physical at the fire dept but it has been about 5 years.

Edie said...

I'm so glad you have a GOOD heart Sue J. Both physically and spiritually. :)

We do need to keep up with those spiritual checkups too so that we can stay on top of any potential problems. I always enjoy your thoughts.

Chatty Kelly said...

I'm always amazed when you mention humility as you are one of the most humble people I know. I guess I'm the one who needs the paddles (CLEAR!).

I think we all have little dead places in our heart. I can't pray for my mom anymore. Maybe one day, but right now I can't. So I have others lift her up on my behalf.

Ask a good friend to pray for your dead zone until you get the life shocked back into it. That it the purpose of friends, to lift each other up, especially when someone is so far down they can't lift them selves up.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

The Patterson 5 said...

Glad your physical was good. It's never fun-maybe frozen drinks should be served!

May your heart be filled with the love, grace, peace, mercy and compassion that only God can give and may He become more and more alive in your heart- energizing You to take on the tasks He has set forth.

And you know, you and CK need to stay away from those paddles!

Bonita said...

Oh dear. I had the same thing happen at my physical this year and I'm the same age as you! The machine printed out some funky rhythm and the look on the technician's face made me think I was going to keel over right there on the spot. The doctor said their machine was fluky too (makes you wonder how reliable all this technology really is!), but honestly my heartbeat was so weird at the time that I think it might have been real. It has since improved dramatically.

Never once did it cross my mind that the machine deal might have a spiritual connotation, but now that you mention it I'm wondering about my "dead spaces" too.

On Purpose said...

Dear Heavenly Father, please come and sit with Your precious daughter, hold her, let her know Your presence and then turn her eyes to You, and keep them there. For You have great plans for her, and You desire to bring her closer to You. In your sweet and precious Sons name-Amen