Interrupting Quality Reception

The timing of Edie's Random Question of the Week is hardly random, in my opinion.

How do you recognize when God speaks to you?

I am dealing with God-speaking-to-me thoughts right now (see yesterday's post). Really, every day! But, some days, it's much more of a fine-tuning discernment issue than others. (BTW, Edie, our Bible study group had Priscilla Shirer's book in the running to do this fall. She was not the final selection this time. I think we'll keep it in mind, however, as we all need to better understand how we find discernment.)

I don't think God speaks to me in a consistent way. What? God, not consistent?! I mean, it's not always a lightning bolt. It's not always a whisper. It's not always in words on the page. It's not always in what somebody says. But, do I know He's speaking to me when He does??

Well, truthfully, no. But, let me quickly add that it's not God's fault (obviously).

Sometimes, absolutely, without a doubt--Who else's voice could that be?! And I can buzz about and confidently say that, yes, God gave me that idea. God answered that prayer that I had. Only God could have put all of that together, because I certainly couldn't have. God totally cleared up my understanding about that passage. It's as clear as a bell! (And since I've rung those for decades now, I know what that sounds like.)

But, back to complete disclosure here (and where I am as I write today)--sometimes, I don't fully hear Him. Or, maybe it's not that I don't hear, but I don't understand. I don't get this particular detail. I don't see how this piece is going to fit into the big picture puzzle. (Insert your metaphor for suddenly lacking discernment here: __________________.)

Are You speaking to me or am I hearing other voices in my head?

Sometimes when He speaks, I forget that it's not all going to be happy buzzy joy time. Sometimes when He speaks, it's about addressing other things going on in my life, words to say (or words I shouldn't have said), or about shaping my character, or reminding me that I really was created a little lower than the angels. The heart-check voice is different from the here's-that-great-idea-you-needed voice.

This past week, a friend sent me an E-mail that has been floating around for a while. It's the one about the woman who visits the blacksmith to learn about what 'refining silver' means. It's about the biblical idea of refinement--bringing us very close to the fire so that all impurities might be cleaned yet not so close that we are burned up in the process (nor left alone by our Blacksmith but skillfully watched over and cared for).

I glanced at it, smiled, and trashed it.

Then, I got the other E-mail that caused me to write a whole blog about my problem of...well, discernment. The one in which God is obviously speaking to me, just not as clearly as when He gave me the idea for the project that is now being....refined? Or is it God refining me through the project? Or, is the project not about me at all, even though I'm about it? And why do I think God isn't speaking clearly to me????

I can let a question like "How does God speak to me?" get me really wrapped up in trying to find an exact answer. Or, as I'm thinking now, God is speaking to me ALL THE TIME. How am I choosing to hear Him? Selectively or with my whole heart? With an eye on His word that I might be refined...perfected? Is it still all about Him when He speaks or is it suddenly all about me?

I'm not sure I've heard His complete response to me yet. And that's OK.

But, maybe I have heard Him completely. Or, perhaps, I fear, I have interrupted Him, yet again, with my side-tracking thoughts, discouragement and self-involvement in the wrong thing.

He really is patient, isn't He?

God, can you start from the beginning again? I promise I'll listen more carefully this time....